Very good Art, raised a smile 

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it. 

These are good 

Here are a few to digest...if you can stomach them...

What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

If poison expires, is it more poisonous, less poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

Which letter is silent in the word "scent," the S or the C?

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you, and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work. 

OMG! I just found out that Einstein was a real person!

All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

 

Suffering from an illness?

No problem - science says alcohol is a solution 

I've known some people who thought it was the solution (for their problems) too!!

good one!!

It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering! 

CAUTION:

Don't let them take your temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket because it erases your memory!!

I went for macaroni and cheese and came home with two cases of beer!!

Think about it...

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.  The glass is refillable.

Good ones Art   

Quote from: Art on March 27, 2022, 04:36:15 AM
Think about it...

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.  The glass is refillable.

Or maybe their glass is too large to start with 

Some good ones there 

Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays
but in Medieval times people were called Lance a lot.